tatty franey
Bellydance :: Yoga
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2010: All about balance
Like most people I know, I was in the habit of making new year's resolutions. I'd come up with a long list, full of "shoulds and should nots" and loaded with guilt. At the end of the year I'd review my list and make note of all my failures and go through the cycle again, creating another list that would lead to more failures.
On the last day of 2006, I decided I had had enough. I was going to turn 30 in 2007. I was feeling the weight society puts on that number for females, and I decided that I'd had enough with that bullshit. I was going to be happy, and that was it. And my first step towards being happy was: To hell with resolutions.
Since then I've not made a single resolution on new year's eve, and it has made me much lighter. But since reading this, I've been considering the idea for a theme.
I was thinking about several concepts, processes and other wonderful stuff I've learnt in the past year, and they mostly seemed so big and overwhelming to me. But the other night, it came to me.
A little recap
I've gone on and on and on about this already, so I won't now, but I need a lil recap here.
Last year I did too much of everything:
- danced too much
- stressed to much
- ate too much
- dieted too much
- worked way too much
- said too much yes
- said too much no
ad nausea...
And I ended up burnt, to the point where I am still feeling the exhaustion now, no matter how much I rest and nourish. Too much was not good enough.
So this year has a theme
And this simple, little word that spells my theme for the year is huge to me. And it means a lot. And it means learning what to take in and what/when to let go. I have to learn to measure what I can take on, and what I have to pass. What is a Yes and what is a No. Gosh, I have to learn to rest!!!!
My theme is Balance.
And I welcome Balance, open-heartedly, into my life.
On the last day of 2006, I decided I had had enough. I was going to turn 30 in 2007. I was feeling the weight society puts on that number for females, and I decided that I'd had enough with that bullshit. I was going to be happy, and that was it. And my first step towards being happy was: To hell with resolutions.
Since then I've not made a single resolution on new year's eve, and it has made me much lighter. But since reading this, I've been considering the idea for a theme.
I was thinking about several concepts, processes and other wonderful stuff I've learnt in the past year, and they mostly seemed so big and overwhelming to me. But the other night, it came to me.
A little recap
I've gone on and on and on about this already, so I won't now, but I need a lil recap here.
Last year I did too much of everything:
- danced too much
- stressed to much
- ate too much
- dieted too much
- worked way too much
- said too much yes
- said too much no
ad nausea...
And I ended up burnt, to the point where I am still feeling the exhaustion now, no matter how much I rest and nourish. Too much was not good enough.
So this year has a theme
And this simple, little word that spells my theme for the year is huge to me. And it means a lot. And it means learning what to take in and what/when to let go. I have to learn to measure what I can take on, and what I have to pass. What is a Yes and what is a No. Gosh, I have to learn to rest!!!!
My theme is Balance.
And I welcome Balance, open-heartedly, into my life.
Decompression - Quitting my job
This is the second post in the Decompression series - it's just me taking the time to digest and process all the changes of the last trimester in 2009. Yep, life just went all crazy and I did not have time to really think about it. But I am doing it now.
So on November 11th I resigned my job. After about 10 months of over thinking, over analysing, weighing the pros and cons, and basically frying my brain (and the boy's!) with the weight of it all.
I had been thinking about it for months and months - I wanted to go back to working for myself. The most logical step was freelancer translation, which I did in the past. I have a degree in translation and 12 years of experience in it, and I LOVE translating. I really do.
So around May I contacted some clients and started translating part-time. Between May and November I pretty much worked every single evening and weekend, non-stop - on top of the day job. And on top of teaching dance classes 3 nights a week. So most days I would wake up at around 6h30 AM and I would not finish work until at least 11 PM.
This added to the fact that work was just terrible make it all twice as hard as it already was.
I was constantly tired; I was not eating well; I was irritable and distant and stressed. I could NOT keep going for much longer.
I needed to make a decision.
So I spoke to an amazing group of people, part of a membership forum that is just mind-blowingly helpful, and they helped with coming up with some pointers that would give me the confidence to do it. I spoke to close friends, and I spoke to my husband about it, and I called my parents and spoke about it a bit more.
Until I got sick and tired of speaking about it. I could not even hear myself talk about it anymore, I just couldn't. I had to take the plunge or I would lose my mind. Also, I had changed jobs internally and I am a big believer in quitting while you're winning. Things were much better in work, so it felt like the perfect time to leave.
The day I resigned I felt so light I thought I would float home. It was like the weight of the world had just been taken off my shoulders. I could not stop smiling.
I am still smiling now. The translation work is going quite well, and I am currently working on figuring out exactly what it is that I am going to do, putting the website together and all that. It's exciting, I am motivated and I am happy.
There is one big lesson learnt here, and it's that I write the story of my life. I can hold on to crutches and excuses OR I can do what I want to and what I am good at, and own my life again.
So on November 11th I resigned my job. After about 10 months of over thinking, over analysing, weighing the pros and cons, and basically frying my brain (and the boy's!) with the weight of it all.
I had been thinking about it for months and months - I wanted to go back to working for myself. The most logical step was freelancer translation, which I did in the past. I have a degree in translation and 12 years of experience in it, and I LOVE translating. I really do.
So around May I contacted some clients and started translating part-time. Between May and November I pretty much worked every single evening and weekend, non-stop - on top of the day job. And on top of teaching dance classes 3 nights a week. So most days I would wake up at around 6h30 AM and I would not finish work until at least 11 PM.
This added to the fact that work was just terrible make it all twice as hard as it already was.
I was constantly tired; I was not eating well; I was irritable and distant and stressed. I could NOT keep going for much longer.
I needed to make a decision.
So I spoke to an amazing group of people, part of a membership forum that is just mind-blowingly helpful, and they helped with coming up with some pointers that would give me the confidence to do it. I spoke to close friends, and I spoke to my husband about it, and I called my parents and spoke about it a bit more.
Until I got sick and tired of speaking about it. I could not even hear myself talk about it anymore, I just couldn't. I had to take the plunge or I would lose my mind. Also, I had changed jobs internally and I am a big believer in quitting while you're winning. Things were much better in work, so it felt like the perfect time to leave.
The day I resigned I felt so light I thought I would float home. It was like the weight of the world had just been taken off my shoulders. I could not stop smiling.
I am still smiling now. The translation work is going quite well, and I am currently working on figuring out exactly what it is that I am going to do, putting the website together and all that. It's exciting, I am motivated and I am happy.
There is one big lesson learnt here, and it's that I write the story of my life. I can hold on to crutches and excuses OR I can do what I want to and what I am good at, and own my life again.
Gloal Edition - 2009 round up
wow. 2009 is over, really? already?
it's been pretty much a blur, this past year. the months are all jamming into one big rush and it's hard to tell what happened when.
i do like to look at the balance of the year that ends, so this is my attempt at doing it here. the good, the bad, what i learnt and what i want for the year that is starting in just over 2 hours.
it's been pretty much a blur, this past year. the months are all jamming into one big rush and it's hard to tell what happened when.
i do like to look at the balance of the year that ends, so this is my attempt at doing it here. the good, the bad, what i learnt and what i want for the year that is starting in just over 2 hours.
The Not So Good Stuff
Work
This was just oh so hard. The day job was soul-destroying, and I was working 2 other jobs. I got very close to burning myself. I got tired, run down, irritable and not-such-a-joy-to-be-around at times. It was just hard after hard after hard.
Sickness
I spent more than half the year with a cold (probably due to the above). And I also was diagnosed with candida, which put me into a crazy strict diet that is just an eternal challenge to follow. And my shoulders and neck jammed - I could not dance for 2 months!
Dance
My teacher moved back to sunny California and I saw myself having to make the jump from student to teacher, mentor and troupe director. Argh. We also had our first show, which was so far from sold out that we almost lost money (but didn't...)
Friendships dying
It's always hard, but particularly when you did not see it coming. And having to kill others because they suck all the goodness out of you. Not good at all.
The Good Stuff
Courage
It took months of agonising and debating and weighing pros and cons and driving my husband up the walls, but I finally found the courage in me and resigned my job. In the middle of a recession, yes. Crazy? Maybe, but I have not felt this happy in a long time. This deserves its own post, which will come soon in the new year.
Dance
Despite all he hardness, I LOVE teaching and I am blessed to work with amazing, understanding, talented dancers who make it all that bit easier and totally worth it. I will be teaching 4 nights a week in 2010, we will have 2 shows and 4 haflas and much more to come.
Family
I have the best husband in the world, the best parents in the world, and amazing in-laws.
BABY
Yep, I am pregnant - and over the moon with joy. Right now I am just around 12 weeks, and there will be belly pictures and more about this soon.
Lessons Learnt
Know when to open the heart wide and when to protect it. It's too precious to be broken so many times.
If you have nothing good to say, shut up. However, sometimes a little bit of tough love is needed. Knowing to choose is the tricky bit.
Dance everyday, dance all day if you can. It warms the body and the heart.
2010
I've been thinking a lot about a theme for the new year. I am making no resolutions, for once. None at all. But I do want a theme, something to keep me focused throughout the year. I still don't know what it will be, and some more checking in is needed. But I will report back here once the theme manifests.
***
This is it. 2009 will be over in less than 2 hours now. I hope 2010 it's a cracker!
so this is it from me. do join in the tradition if you feel like it!!!
Work
This was just oh so hard. The day job was soul-destroying, and I was working 2 other jobs. I got very close to burning myself. I got tired, run down, irritable and not-such-a-joy-to-be-around at times. It was just hard after hard after hard.
Sickness
I spent more than half the year with a cold (probably due to the above). And I also was diagnosed with candida, which put me into a crazy strict diet that is just an eternal challenge to follow. And my shoulders and neck jammed - I could not dance for 2 months!
Dance
My teacher moved back to sunny California and I saw myself having to make the jump from student to teacher, mentor and troupe director. Argh. We also had our first show, which was so far from sold out that we almost lost money (but didn't...)
Friendships dying
It's always hard, but particularly when you did not see it coming. And having to kill others because they suck all the goodness out of you. Not good at all.
The Good Stuff
Courage
It took months of agonising and debating and weighing pros and cons and driving my husband up the walls, but I finally found the courage in me and resigned my job. In the middle of a recession, yes. Crazy? Maybe, but I have not felt this happy in a long time. This deserves its own post, which will come soon in the new year.
Dance
Despite all he hardness, I LOVE teaching and I am blessed to work with amazing, understanding, talented dancers who make it all that bit easier and totally worth it. I will be teaching 4 nights a week in 2010, we will have 2 shows and 4 haflas and much more to come.
Family
I have the best husband in the world, the best parents in the world, and amazing in-laws.
BABY
Yep, I am pregnant - and over the moon with joy. Right now I am just around 12 weeks, and there will be belly pictures and more about this soon.
Lessons Learnt
Know when to open the heart wide and when to protect it. It's too precious to be broken so many times.
If you have nothing good to say, shut up. However, sometimes a little bit of tough love is needed. Knowing to choose is the tricky bit.
Dance everyday, dance all day if you can. It warms the body and the heart.
2010
I've been thinking a lot about a theme for the new year. I am making no resolutions, for once. None at all. But I do want a theme, something to keep me focused throughout the year. I still don't know what it will be, and some more checking in is needed. But I will report back here once the theme manifests.
***
This is it. 2009 will be over in less than 2 hours now. I hope 2010 it's a cracker!
so this is it from me. do join in the tradition if you feel like it!!!
Decompression - The Show
An ickle disclaimer before I start this post - life has been crrrazy. It totally took over and I have just been focusing on getting through. Now that I am on the other side of the hurricane, it's time to catch up. There will be a short series of posts where I catch up and digest the past month. Thanks for, erm, digesting with me!
My first show - November 28th. WOW.
I can't remember when we* decided we were going to have a show. I think it was back in May. Then we decided we need a guest. Then we decided we needed workshops with the guest, who is an amazing teacher/dancer/person.
So around June we booked the wonderful Hilde for workshops and to be the special guest on our show. We booked the venue for the workshops and the venue for the show.
We invited other guests - beautiful local dancers - and started picking music for our numbers. EIGHT dances in one night, but we knew we could do it.
Songs picked, guests booked and confirmed, we started rehearsal - this around late July.
August was pretty much taken over with summer holidays, with most of the troupe being away at different times - no rehearsals happened.
September was busy drilling technique and putting together the basis for the coreographies. October and November was rehearse, rehearse, rehearse, rehearse. Stress. Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse. Stress a bit more. Get sick because of not enough rest.
Three days before the show a dancer pulled out. Grr. TWO days before the show another dancer pulled out. GRRR. Both for health reasons, so totally understandable, but STRESS!
The show itself was a blur. Dance after dance after dance. The dancers we worked with were beyond amazing - professional, full of energy, friendly. I will certainly work with them again! The crew at Crawdaddy were so so helpful and accommodating, we just can't wait to work with them again. The unofficial video looks amazing and I can't wait for the official video and pics to be ready.
But, of course, it was not all roses...
The stage - we had been to the venue before, and remembered the stage being small, BUT the specs we got from them indicated a much bigger stage. Groovy, we thought, more space = better. Turns out the stage was still small... we had to make some total last minute changes to a dance with 8 dancers, which meant that confusion ensued and not everyone was on the same page for it.
Lesson learnt - do not trust specs, go and visit the place beforehand, even if you have to fight for that right.
Tickets - we probably priced the tickets too high for Dublin. Tickets sales covered all our costs (just about), but it was a far cry from the full house we hoped for. At the same time, as Nell said, some bands play for their friends and family for years before they sell out a show, so for our first show we did ok.
Lesson learnt - revise ticket prices so they are more in line with similar shows in Dublin.
Marketing - well, we really failed on this. We advertised only to our newsletter and on Facebook. It totally wasn't enough.
Lesson learnt - I am not sure what we will do different for the next one, but we are planning and brainstorming on this.
Overall, it was wonderful and well worth the stress. The night was magical for us. Our next show will hopefully be magical for a full house
* Not the royal type, but me and my troupe.
My first show - November 28th. WOW.
I can't remember when we* decided we were going to have a show. I think it was back in May. Then we decided we need a guest. Then we decided we needed workshops with the guest, who is an amazing teacher/dancer/person.
So around June we booked the wonderful Hilde for workshops and to be the special guest on our show. We booked the venue for the workshops and the venue for the show.
We invited other guests - beautiful local dancers - and started picking music for our numbers. EIGHT dances in one night, but we knew we could do it.
Songs picked, guests booked and confirmed, we started rehearsal - this around late July.
August was pretty much taken over with summer holidays, with most of the troupe being away at different times - no rehearsals happened.
September was busy drilling technique and putting together the basis for the coreographies. October and November was rehearse, rehearse, rehearse, rehearse. Stress. Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse. Stress a bit more. Get sick because of not enough rest.
Three days before the show a dancer pulled out. Grr. TWO days before the show another dancer pulled out. GRRR. Both for health reasons, so totally understandable, but STRESS!
The show itself was a blur. Dance after dance after dance. The dancers we worked with were beyond amazing - professional, full of energy, friendly. I will certainly work with them again! The crew at Crawdaddy were so so helpful and accommodating, we just can't wait to work with them again. The unofficial video looks amazing and I can't wait for the official video and pics to be ready.
But, of course, it was not all roses...
The stage - we had been to the venue before, and remembered the stage being small, BUT the specs we got from them indicated a much bigger stage. Groovy, we thought, more space = better. Turns out the stage was still small... we had to make some total last minute changes to a dance with 8 dancers, which meant that confusion ensued and not everyone was on the same page for it.
Lesson learnt - do not trust specs, go and visit the place beforehand, even if you have to fight for that right.
Tickets - we probably priced the tickets too high for Dublin. Tickets sales covered all our costs (just about), but it was a far cry from the full house we hoped for. At the same time, as Nell said, some bands play for their friends and family for years before they sell out a show, so for our first show we did ok.
Lesson learnt - revise ticket prices so they are more in line with similar shows in Dublin.
Marketing - well, we really failed on this. We advertised only to our newsletter and on Facebook. It totally wasn't enough.
Lesson learnt - I am not sure what we will do different for the next one, but we are planning and brainstorming on this.
Overall, it was wonderful and well worth the stress. The night was magical for us. Our next show will hopefully be magical for a full house
* Not the royal type, but me and my troupe.
Global Edition # 26 - the productive edition
here is where i try to work out the good and the not so good stuff that
happened in the past week. facing the bad (and sometimes even the good) is
not easy, but it's something i want to do. here goes it.
Last week was productive. *Super *productive. And even though it was truly
exhausting, it resulted in me being and feeling like myself again.
*The Not So Good Stuff*
*
**My back is ouchie
*Left shoulder is much better, thanks very much, but the upper back is now
nagging me. Physio says this is normal and she is keeping me in check until
the show in November so I can dance mostly pain-free. Ouchies.
*Time
*I just don't have it. On Saturday I was showring and washing my hair and
realised I had not washed my hair all week (eeeeeew, right?), because I was
just rushing around. Now that was a big wake up call and it helped to lead
me to The Decision.
*Work
*I bore myself talking about this
*Family
*The ones who are far away we worry about, the ones who are close by we wish
they were far away. *Isn't it ironic?**
*The Good Stuff*
*Anniversary
*One whole year married to the best boy in the world. My boy. My rock. My
best friend. Only he spent the whole day (and then some) slagging me off for
not having bought him an anniversary presie. Which I did, but it has not
arrived yet. So we will probably have a mini-anniversary again soon when the
presie arrives.
*Dance*
Back into the swing of things, after being off it due to pain and drama.
Rehearsing like mad for the show in November. Yay!
*Decision
*I seem to have found my *cojones* again and I made a decision. A huge,
life-changing, oh-my-gods kind of decision. I am SO happy about this, and as
soon as I can I will tell the big news here.
so this is it from me. do join in the
traditionif
you feel like it!!!
* Alanis Morissette is not family. In case you or her or her manager were
wondering.
--------------------------------
THe big show is less than THREE weeks away! If you're in Ireland you ought
to come along - it will be magical! More details
hereand
here .
happened in the past week. facing the bad (and sometimes even the good) is
not easy, but it's something i want to do. here goes it.
Last week was productive. *Super *productive. And even though it was truly
exhausting, it resulted in me being and feeling like myself again.
*The Not So Good Stuff*
*
**My back is ouchie
*Left shoulder is much better, thanks very much, but the upper back is now
nagging me. Physio says this is normal and she is keeping me in check until
the show in November so I can dance mostly pain-free. Ouchies.
*Time
*I just don't have it. On Saturday I was showring and washing my hair and
realised I had not washed my hair all week (eeeeeew, right?), because I was
just rushing around. Now that was a big wake up call and it helped to lead
me to The Decision.
*Work
*I bore myself talking about this
*Family
*The ones who are far away we worry about, the ones who are close by we wish
they were far away. *Isn't it ironic?**
*The Good Stuff*
*Anniversary
*One whole year married to the best boy in the world. My boy. My rock. My
best friend. Only he spent the whole day (and then some) slagging me off for
not having bought him an anniversary presie. Which I did, but it has not
arrived yet. So we will probably have a mini-anniversary again soon when the
presie arrives.
*Dance*
Back into the swing of things, after being off it due to pain and drama.
Rehearsing like mad for the show in November. Yay!
*Decision
*I seem to have found my *cojones* again and I made a decision. A huge,
life-changing, oh-my-gods kind of decision. I am SO happy about this, and as
soon as I can I will tell the big news here.
so this is it from me. do join in the
traditionif
you feel like it!!!
* Alanis Morissette is not family. In case you or her or her manager were
wondering.
--------------------------------
THe big show is less than THREE weeks away! If you're in Ireland you ought
to come along - it will be magical! More details
hereand
here .
The Tattooed One
If you are familiar with any faction of Tribal Bellydance, you will have noticed that the vast majority of dancers of this style showcase one or more types of body modifications - tattoos and/or pierciengs, with the odd implanted fangs!
So what came first - the dance or the body mods?
A quick trip back in time
San Francisco, Carliforna, the 1980s - Punk bands started to form, creating a really ecletic vibe in the city. The "modern primitives" movement was also going strong there, and there was a LOT of young tattoed people around. One of them would be the founder of what is now known as American Tribal Style Bellydance (or ATS, or Tribal, or what I call it: Tribal Bellydance).
Carolena Nericcio had been bellydancing since 1974, when in 1987 she started her own classes. Carolena was also young and tattooed, and attracted a lot of the attention to this dance form. She and her troupe performed at music gigs, tattoo conventions and started to get really well-known in San Francisco and California.
The name for this post was taken from Carolena's first DVD - named so because that's how she got known - amongst Carlifornia bellydancers in the 1980s, she was "the tattooed one".
Back to the present
Tribal bellydance continues to attract the young (and not so young) tattooed crowd that is out there.
My theory is that this is because Tribal Bellydance broke a lot of rules:
- the dances are improvised, not choreographed
- a system of visual and verbal cues was devised to allow for dancers to perform as a group
- focus is not on the soloist, but on the whole troupe
- the costumes are a big mixture of North African, Indian, Roma and Flamenco pieces put together
- we wear more bling than famous rappers (and often get stuck when a ring or bracelet meets a hip-shawl!)
If you are into body modifications, you either already belong to a tribe of similar people, or you at least decided you do not fit where you were before.
Tribal Bellydance seems to have been the natural progression for the outcasts who liked bellydance but could not identify themselves with the sequined costumes and the overt sexuality often present in the form of the traditional bellydance style performed in the US and Europe.
Conclusion
I don't have one, really.
Tribal Bellydance is an evolving dance form, that has changed a lot in the 22 years of its existence. Western society is also changing, and tattoos and other body mods do not carry the stigma they once did.
Maybe in 20 years time I will report back here...
*********
My big show is only 3.5 weeks away! If you're in Ireland you ought to come along - it will be magical! More details here.
Global Edition # 25 - the I-don't-even-want-to-review-it edition
here is where i try to work out the good and the not so good stuff that
happened in the past week. facing the bad (and sometimes even the good) is
not easy, but it's something i want to do. here goes it.
Yep, this is late again. This, in itself is becoming a tradition. Mmmm,
don't likey. I also don't likey last week, so it's a good thing that it's
now over.
*The Not So Good Stuff*
*Puter*
Pain. The physio exercises hurt. Carrying anything hurts. Dancing for long
periods of time hurts.
*People*
I don't mean people as in *everyone*, but man... sometimes I wish things
were easy. Free of drama. Free of egos. Free of words being put in my mouth.
*Work*
It's boring. It's annoying. Some things that were supposed to happen or come
by didn't, and I am still stuck to this (cheap and horrible) office chair.
*
*
*The Good Stuff*
*Anniversary!*
Well, the real anniversary is only next Saturday, but the boy and I
celebrated early with a weekend of much deserved relaxation and good food.
It was gooooood!
*Plans*
The fact that the things that were supposed to happen didn't gave me a
proverbial kick up the arse and got me moving again. Which is wonderful, and
hopeful and happy.
so this is it from me. do join in the tradition if you feel like it!!!
Tatiana Franey
Translation - Review - Project Management Services
IM: tguedes@hotmail.com
happened in the past week. facing the bad (and sometimes even the good) is
not easy, but it's something i want to do. here goes it.
Yep, this is late again. This, in itself is becoming a tradition. Mmmm,
don't likey. I also don't likey last week, so it's a good thing that it's
now over.
*The Not So Good Stuff*
*Puter*
Pain. The physio exercises hurt. Carrying anything hurts. Dancing for long
periods of time hurts.
*People*
I don't mean people as in *everyone*, but man... sometimes I wish things
were easy. Free of drama. Free of egos. Free of words being put in my mouth.
*Work*
It's boring. It's annoying. Some things that were supposed to happen or come
by didn't, and I am still stuck to this (cheap and horrible) office chair.
*
*
*The Good Stuff*
*Anniversary!*
Well, the real anniversary is only next Saturday, but the boy and I
celebrated early with a weekend of much deserved relaxation and good food.
It was gooooood!
*Plans*
The fact that the things that were supposed to happen didn't gave me a
proverbial kick up the arse and got me moving again. Which is wonderful, and
hopeful and happy.
so this is it from me. do join in the tradition if you feel like it!!!
Tatiana Franey
Translation - Review - Project Management Services
IM: tguedes@hotmail.com
Global Edition # 24 - the low-tech edition
here is where i try to work out the good and the not so good stuff that
happened in the past week. facing the bad (and sometimes even the good)
is not easy, but it's something i want to do. here goes it.
So you might (or not) have noticed that this is a few days late. This is because my computer decided it had enough on Sunday and blatantly refused to work again. It's in hospital this week and I hope it gets better soon, as I have a lot to catch up on! Also, it was a very slow week of nothing-much-happening...
The Not So Good Stuff
Puter
Well, I pretty much already told you about this one above...
Sickness
My father-in-law's health deteriorated again and he is back in hospital. He is in pain, he is confused, the family are suffering. It's truly disheartening.
The Good Stuff
Physio
My shoulders are almost all better already! I am doing my stretches regularly and taking it easy otherwise, but it's so good not to be in constant agony!
so this is it from me. do join in the tradition if you feel like it!!!
happened in the past week. facing the bad (and sometimes even the good)
is not easy, but it's something i want to do. here goes it.
So you might (or not) have noticed that this is a few days late. This is because my computer decided it had enough on Sunday and blatantly refused to work again. It's in hospital this week and I hope it gets better soon, as I have a lot to catch up on! Also, it was a very slow week of nothing-much-happening...
The Not So Good Stuff
Puter
Well, I pretty much already told you about this one above...
Sickness
My father-in-law's health deteriorated again and he is back in hospital. He is in pain, he is confused, the family are suffering. It's truly disheartening.
The Good Stuff
Physio
My shoulders are almost all better already! I am doing my stretches regularly and taking it easy otherwise, but it's so good not to be in constant agony!
so this is it from me. do join in the tradition if you feel like it!!!
Global Edition # 23 - the "ouch" edition
here is where i try to work out the good and the not so good stuff that
happened in the past week. facing the bad (and sometimes even the good)
is not easy, but it's something i want to do. here goes it.
A LOT of hard this week. What with my shoulders (both!) locking and having one of those birthday things, it was tough going...
The Not So Good Stuff
Being zero-armed
So on Thursday both my shoulders decided to stop working, and my upper back went into spasms. I knew this could not be good, at all, but I did not call for help until Friday. A LOT of ouch.
Physio
On Saturday I went to the physio clinic and a really nice and competent girl checked my shoulders. No long-term damage to tendons or muscles YET, but a lot of work needed. I have homework (to stretch every hour, among others) and I have to go back probably once a week for a while.
Monies
Lacking a lot of it at the moment and having to spend on physio. Oy...
Birthday
Yep, another year clocked. I don't feel good on my birthday, or the week before or the week after, but I try to play along. This year I even went out to celebrate. Of all the people invited, 4 came out to play with me, and that brought up all sorts of stuck for me. Still processing that, so won't say any more.
The Good Stuff
Change
I was offered a new position in work, a lateral move that meant I would change team. The offer was taken immediately!
The Boy
He is a wonderful man, the perfect husband for me, and made my birthday more than bearable :)
so this is it from me. do join in the tradition if you feel like it!!!
happened in the past week. facing the bad (and sometimes even the good)
is not easy, but it's something i want to do. here goes it.
A LOT of hard this week. What with my shoulders (both!) locking and having one of those birthday things, it was tough going...
The Not So Good Stuff
Being zero-armed
So on Thursday both my shoulders decided to stop working, and my upper back went into spasms. I knew this could not be good, at all, but I did not call for help until Friday. A LOT of ouch.
Physio
On Saturday I went to the physio clinic and a really nice and competent girl checked my shoulders. No long-term damage to tendons or muscles YET, but a lot of work needed. I have homework (to stretch every hour, among others) and I have to go back probably once a week for a while.
Monies
Lacking a lot of it at the moment and having to spend on physio. Oy...
Birthday
Yep, another year clocked. I don't feel good on my birthday, or the week before or the week after, but I try to play along. This year I even went out to celebrate. Of all the people invited, 4 came out to play with me, and that brought up all sorts of stuck for me. Still processing that, so won't say any more.
The Good Stuff
Change
I was offered a new position in work, a lateral move that meant I would change team. The offer was taken immediately!
The Boy
He is a wonderful man, the perfect husband for me, and made my birthday more than bearable :)
so this is it from me. do join in the tradition if you feel like it!!!
Moving meditation - sword dance
My mind is always at thousands of miles per hour. Thoughts dash by and spin around, leaving long lines in technicolour - they are beautiful, but dazzling.
I tried meditation before, different types, several times. The result was always that I either fell asleep or ended up tangled in a complex web of thoughts. I just assumed meditation was not for me. Maybe I was the kind of person who just would never be able to meditate.
Every attempt at it made me frustrated. I felt inadequate. People around me would have tales of peace and rest and all other sorts of wonderful experiences while meditating. I would just smile feebly and rush out of class, feeling tenser than before. How could I just not get it? Why was it not working for me? Obviously there was something wrong with me.
So I gave up trying to learn to meditate. If I was going to end up caught up in my own thoughts anyway, I'd rather just do it by myself, thankyouverymuch.
Six years ago I discovered Tribal Bellydance. I found ways to move my body that, till then, had been totally unknown to me. I found new ways to connect with people, and with myself. And I discovered sword dance.
While technically it's not incredibly hard to balance a sword, it requires all your concentration. Any involuntary body movement will cause the sword to rock, sway or even fall - not the desired effect!
When I started practicing with a sword, I learnt the hard way that each single thought I had caused a slight arm movement, or leg movement, or hip movement. I noticed that when I concentrate on a thought (ie, when I notice it and decide to follow it), that I normally look upwards and to the right (a little bit like him). As soon as the head tilts, bang - off goes the sword. Oupsie.
Dancing with swords (that's right, plural) is my meditation. When I practice or perform with the swords, my only thought is the sword. I don't see the colourful rush of lights dazzling my brain. I don't hear the constant natter of the inner critic. I can't afford to follow any thought, pretty and shiny as it might be - my one single point of focus is the sword on my head (or my hip, or my arm, or my hand, or my shoulder).
For years I went for the swords when I needed grounding. It became a ritual to me: tough day at work? sword practice. emotional meltdown? swords. feeling low? swords. Now, I can "sword dance" on my mind when I need to ground. I can picture myself rehearsing the most impossible moves with them, and immediately the natter gets quieter, the lights more subdued, my breathing gets even. Immediate grounding.
One day I might feel ready for a different type of meditation. I am happy with my sword dancing one for now.
