My mind is always at thousands of miles per hour. Thoughts dash by and spin around, leaving long lines in technicolour - they are beautiful, but dazzling.

I tried meditation before, different types, several times. The result was always that I either fell asleep or ended up tangled in a complex web of thoughts. I just assumed meditation was not for me. Maybe I was the kind of person who just would never be able to meditate.

Every attempt at it made me frustrated. I felt inadequate. People around me would have tales of peace and rest and all other sorts of wonderful experiences while meditating. I would just smile feebly and rush out of class, feeling tenser than before. How could I just not get it? Why was it not working for me? Obviously there was something wrong with me.

So I gave up trying to learn to meditate. If I was going to end up caught up in my own thoughts anyway, I'd rather just do it by myself, thankyouverymuch.

Six years ago I discovered Tribal Bellydance. I found ways to move my body that, till then, had been totally unknown to me. I found new ways to connect with people, and with myself. And I discovered sword dance.

While technically it's not incredibly hard to balance a sword, it requires all your concentration. Any involuntary body movement will cause the sword to rock, sway or even fall - not  the desired effect!

When I started practicing with a sword, I learnt the hard way that each single thought I had caused a slight arm movement, or leg movement, or hip movement. I noticed that when I concentrate on a thought (ie, when I notice it and decide to follow it), that I normally look upwards and to the right (a little bit like him). As soon as the head tilts, bang - off goes the sword. Oupsie.

Dancing with swords (that's right, plural) is my meditation. When I practice or perform with the swords, my only thought is the sword. I don't see the colourful rush of lights dazzling my brain. I don't hear the constant natter of the inner critic. I can't afford to follow any thought, pretty and shiny as it might be - my one single point of focus is the sword on my head (or my hip, or my arm, or my hand, or my shoulder).

For years I went for the swords when I needed grounding. It became a ritual to me: tough day at work? sword practice. emotional meltdown? swords. feeling low? swords. Now, I can "sword dance" on my mind when I need to ground. I can picture myself rehearsing the most impossible moves with them, and immediately the natter gets quieter, the lights more subdued, my breathing gets even. Immediate grounding.

One day I might feel ready for a different type of meditation. I am happy with my sword dancing one for now.